Tag Archives: Mel Gibson

Braveheart – Bad Reviews

Braveheart is 89th in the IMDB best movies of all time chart, it won 5 Oscars and is utterly divisive. As it was aired on the BBC last night, I thought I’d cobble together a variety of funny comments taken from online reviewers who despised this film:

  • In reality, at Wallace’s death, the princess was only a little child. If he DID fornicate with her, then so much the better that a pedophile was torn to pieces.
  • Watch it if you like shouting midgets with long hair.
  • Just spend the time with your head in a bucket of raw sewage, you’ll find it more rewarding.
  • 1995 wasn’t a vintage year by any means but how this travesty managed to beat out the likes of The Usual Suspects, Heat and Se7en at the Academy Awards is a mystery on a par with the Easter Island statues and anyone liking prunes.
  • Sir William Wallace was a junior lowlands nobleman, not a kilted highland peasant – that’s a bit like portraying George Washington as a Native American.
  • I don’t know what the English have done to Mel Gibson but it must have been pretty awful for us to merit this racist nonsense.
  • Mel Gibson, looking uncannily like Billy Ray Cyrus, tramples all over Scottish history in his relentless pursuit of the almighty dollar.
  • What can one expect of a director (Gibson) who managed to confuse the 18th Century British Army with the Waffen-SS in Normandy?
  • I found the mooning scene in this movie to be quite childish.
  • Like everyone else I cheered when he shouted “Freedom” but only because this complete load of rubbish was over.
  • It is just a vehicle for Gibson’s anti-English agenda. He should be made to eat every copy of this tripe.
  • Perhaps a better title would have been Carry On Scotland. It’s a shame Sid James is no longer with us, he could have played the king.
  • All of Mel Gibson’s recent films are marketed towards less intelligent people such as George W Bush or the Pope or Mel himself I suppose.
  • Funded by Americans, filmed in Ireland and starring an Australian with an obvious chip on his shoulder. Avoid!
  • The biggest heap of dog dung ever to be unleashed on the cinema going public.
  • I don’t know anything about the history of Scotland and don’t care.
  • Am I the only one who had trouble rooting for the elderly-man-crushing hero, telling a few lame jokes to his mates before lightheartedly rushing out to very violently kill dozens of people? The movie can’t decide whether it’s lighthearted comedy or gripping drama.
  • Making fart jokes before a battle to raise morale. It’s hardly the St Crispian’s speech is it?
  • This film is a racist, sexist, homophobic piece of Nazi propaganda by the anti-semitic bipolar alcoholic Mel Gibson.
  • This is just Mad Max goes to Scotland.
  • Are we to believe that the general Scottish trait is untrustworthiness (for that is what this film suggests) perhaps it’s too long a word to be tattooed to biceps in the back streets of Greenock….
  • A fairly predictable little story about a specific fight for freedom is turned by Mel Gibson into a picture of twisted masculine desire that makes Blue Velvet look like Barney’s Picnic Adventure.
  • I’m not too hot on Welsh history, but if this is what it was like back in the day I’m glad for change.
  • I’m surprised he didn’t recast the Romans as English in the Passion of Christ.
  • Gibson was far too old to play Wallace and his “Scottish” accent was as bad as his awful ginger wig.
  • What would you think if your boyfriend, on a Saturday night takes you to the only mountain in Scotland (Ben Nevis), and began to speak to you in Latin? Any normal girl will leave him right there.
  • Fred Flintstone fights for Scotland’s FREEEEDOM!
  • If you are going to go to war don’t do it wearing make-up ,dressed in a skirt and carrying a handbag !!!
  • The good guy is done injustice (his woman is slain) and is out for revenge. That’s his primary motive. Somewhere along the way the freedom of Scotland got into the fold, almost as an afterthought. In this regard it is not unlike the US’s case for the Iraqi invasion — freedom being used as a tool to elevate a completely mundane cause.
  • Watch this movie, and think about what Freud would have made of all those men sticking REALLY BIG SWORDS into each other. It is not a pretty picture.
  • The next step on from this is to show hoards of Englishmen burning babies for a living then going home smacking their wives having a cup of tea and going to bed in a bowler hat.
  • The battle scenes look like rugby scrums, with kilt raising reducing them to parodies of the actual battles that took place. If this had been a Monty Python sketch, I would have laughed heartily throughout.
  • Hoots Mon, it’s bad.
  • [The Scots] come over as a cross between the flumps and Slade doing a Christmas song.